5 Best Anal Sex Positions (With Comfort and Safety Tips)

Anal sex can feel great, but the position you start in makes a big difference to comfort. Below are five positions, roughly ordered from gentlest to most intense, with how to get into each one, how to make it easier, and when to skip it. They work for any combination of bodies, whether the penetration is with a penis, a strap-on or a toy.

Before You Pick a Position

A few basics matter more than any angle:

• Lube, lots of it. The anus doesn't make its own lubrication. Silicone-based or thicker water-based lube works well. If you're using latex condoms, avoid oil-based products because they weaken latex.
• Protection. No position lowers the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Condoms (or barriers on toys) and regular testing do. Never go from anal to vaginal or oral contact without a fresh condom or a thorough wash, because that can spread bacteria and cause infections.
• Warm up. Arousal helps the muscles relax. Start with external touch, then a lubed finger or a small toy with a flared base before anything bigger.
• Let the receiver set the pace. Pressure and fullness are normal. Sharp or burning pain is not. Skip numbing creams, because pain is useful information and you want to feel it.
• Know when to wait. Hold off during a hemorrhoid flare, with an anal fissure, after recent anal or rectal surgery, or during an inflammatory bowel disease flare, and check with a doctor if you're unsure.

1. Spooning

You both lie on your sides facing the same direction. The receiving partner is in front with their top knee drawn up toward their chest, and the penetrating partner lies close behind. Movements stay small and slow, which makes spooning a favorite for first times, tired evenings and bodies that don't like kneeling.

Make it easier: Put a pillow between the receiver's knees. The receiver can reach back to guide their partner in and set the depth. The penetrating partner has a free hand for touching the receiver's clitoris, penis or chest. Many people find this position comfortable during pregnancy too, as long as their provider hasn't advised against sex.

Skip or adjust if: lying on one hip or shoulder hurts. Switch sides or move to a position where the receiver is on top. You can't see each other's faces, so check in out loud.

2. Receiver on Top (Cowgirl)

The penetrating partner lies on their back. The receiving partner straddles their hips, knees on the bed, facing them, and slowly lowers themselves down. Because the receiver controls every inch of depth and speed, many educators suggest this position for a first try.

Make it easier: The partner underneath stays still at first and lets the receiver move. Leaning forward with hands on their partner's chest changes the angle and takes weight off the thighs. A pillow under the lower partner's hips can help line things up.

Skip or adjust if: kneeling hurts your knees or your thighs tire quickly. Spooning gives you similar control with less effort.

3. Reverse Cowgirl

This is the same setup as above, but the receiving partner faces their partner's feet. In Reverse Cowgirl the receiver still controls the pace, and small shifts (leaning forward onto the bed or the partner's legs, or leaning back on their hands) change where the pressure lands. Many people with a prostate find an angle they love just by experimenting with that lean.

Make it easier: Keep the receiver's knees wide for balance, and use the partner's shins or the bed as a handhold. Go slowly with the first entry, because gravity adds depth faster than you might expect.

Skip or adjust if: your knees, hips or thighs complain. With no eye contact, agree on a simple word or tap that means "pause."

4. Anal Missionary

The receiving partner lies on their back with a firm pillow under their hips and their knees drawn toward their chest. The penetrating partner kneels between their legs with their hands on the bed beside the receiver's torso. Being face to face makes it easy to kiss, read expressions and spot discomfort early.

Make it easier: Experiment with the pillow height, since tilting the pelvis up often makes entry smoother. The receiver can hold their own knees or rest their feet on their partner's chest. Resting the legs on the partner's shoulders allows deeper penetration, so save it for when you're both comfortable.

Skip or adjust if: deep hip bending strains your lower back or hips. Later in pregnancy, lying flat on your back for long stretches can feel uncomfortable or make you lightheaded, so side-lying usually works better.

5. Doggy Style

The receiving partner is on their hands and knees, or down on their forearms, and the penetrating partner kneels behind them. Doggy Style allows deeper penetration and puts more control in the hands of the person behind, so most people enjoy it more once they've already found their rhythm in gentler positions.

Make it easier: Let the receiver rock back onto their partner instead of the partner thrusting forward. Lowering the chest to the mattress changes the angle, and a pillow under the knees saves them. For a gentler version, the receiver lies flat on their stomach with a pillow under their hips.

Skip or adjust if: your wrists or knees ache, or if deeper thrusting causes pain. Go back to one of the positions where the receiver controls the movement.

Communication and Consent

Talk before you start: what you'd like to try, what's off the table and how either of you will say "stop." Consent for anal sex is its own yes. It doesn't come automatically with other kinds of sex, and anyone can change their mind at any point, including halfway through. During sex, short check-ins like "slower?" or "more lube?" keep things relaxed. Afterward, a gentle wash, some water and a cuddle go a long way, and so does a quick chat about what felt good.

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